THE PROPOSAL 

Sanaya, that was the name he had in mind as he was driving his car to his favorite restaurant. He first met her on a holiday to an exotic country. The moons delicate light had just turned the world a-flame with silver when he first saw her. She had a comely figure which was stem-thin. Her curvilinear waist didn’t surprise him as much as the saffron tint to her complexion. She must be a native, he thought to myself. Her crescent shaped eyebrows inclined slightly as she saw him staring at her. He yelped at being caught. Her languid eyelashes of velvet-black blinked once slowly, as if to invite him over.

When he came closer, he noticed her scrolled ears and her elegant nose. It was love at first light. Her luminous, heavenly-white teeth flashed as she pawed at him with her film star nails. Her hair was a glorious tumble of star beam-gold and her virility-brown eyes set my heart a-thump. Her oxbow lips positively drooled with goodness. Oh! Those sugar candy-sweet lips, her elegant personality, all mesmerized him. And when he was caught drooling over her, she in her own innocent way shied away. He may have been one of the richest guys in India, a man who was an epitome of resilience., but in front of her he was as vulnerable as a person in love. Was it that? Love? Or was it just a crush? Who knew? But it wasn’t something he had never experienced. And when he heard her saccharine voice, he was in another place. It has been 2 years since that day, and he was ready to pop the question today.

Ayan was the kind of man sanaya always wanted in her life. Sanaya was meeting ayan today in his favorite restaurant. A little chinese joint, where they both loved to meet. But, today it was different. Sanaya was a little late and when she reached, ayan was already there sitting on his favorite table , lost in thoughts. He had tousled dark brown hair, which was thick and lustrous. His eyes were a mesmerizing deep ocean blue, flecks of silvery light performed ballets throughout. His face was strong and defined, his features molded from granite. He had dark eye brows, which sloped downwards in a serious expression. His usually playful smile had drawn into a hard line across his face. His perfect lips ripe for the kissing. She came stood in front of table. Ayan got up. His strong hands, slightly rough from working, held hers as he stared deep into her eyes. Sanaya couldn't help but blush. His smile etched it’s way back into his face. His body was warm and toned as he hugged her, comforting to the touch. His voice was deep, with an serious tone. His lips brushed her ear as he spoke, "I really do love you." Those five words set off a cascade of complex emotions , many of which were due to the fact that sanaya was irrevocably in love with the man in front of him. It was her first love. For her it was like a being on the best rollercoaster ride ever. In the very beginning, you climb in and think "I can't believe I'm doing this, what the hell was I thinking, maybe this isn't such a good idea, blah, blah, blah" except at some point, it's too late for backing out because you're moving. And you're climbing and then spinning and looping all crazy and the thoughts are that you're pretty sure you're going to survive because how many deaths are there, really, from people falling out of roller coasters? But you don't really know because you never really paid too much attention to rollercoaster fatality statistics because you weren't into riding roller coasters. Until now. And every twist and hairpin turn is exciting and you realize you're enjoying every scary minute and you start to just let go and trust...no, you start to truly believe...that you're definitely going to make it. Except there's always that "gotcha" turn when the bottom drops out and your stomach lurches, but then you're back flying again and you're laughing your head off because you made it and you're alive and this is all the most real stuff there is. And the ride begins to slow just a little bit, and the turns and twists are more like echoes of the stomach-turning ones from before, but you're okay with that. You're okay with everything. And  you're pulling into the place where you started from, smiling, happy, enriched, and knowing you're right where you always wanted to be. Ayan was thinking of getting married for the second time. He got married 7 years earlier to Preeti. It was an arranged marriage. Preeti and ayan were poles apart. They had nothing in common. Despite of a lot of trying, marriage counselor sessions, and what not , they finally got divorced 3 years later. The proposal itself was the most cliched proposal that can be. The waiter brought in their favorite red wine. There was a ring in one of the glasses. A gloriously cut diamond, set like a crown on 24 carat golden ring. There was this royalty in the ring, but above all there was love. A love that would last longer than the shining golden jewel.  Sanaya was slowly gulping the wine, when she realised what was happening and there was ayan on his knees waiting to to say those 4 words “Will you marry me?” . She was happy yet she was crying. She was engulfed by a complex set of emotions, one where she didn;t knew what to feel. The only thing that was on her mind was the love she had for ayan and before even completing the sentence she said yes. The saccharin smile on the faces of ayan and sanaya, made one believe that true love can conquer any sorrow , depression and sadness. It was just two years ago, before sanaya met ayan that sanaya’s world had come falling down on her. Her father, her philosopher and guide, passed away. Grief, sadness, loss... engulfed her. She felt Worthless, weeping, disparity, failure, apathy, nothingness, empty, numb, broken when she would crumble to the floor and just give up. She was afraid , terrified of facing this world alone with no one to bank on.  Grief can seem like an unbearable experience. But for those of us who have entered the broken world of loss and sorrow, we realize that in the fractured landscape of grief we can find the pieces of our life that we ourselves have forgotten. It was in this fractured landscape of grief, that sanaya met ayan.

They had the dinner , and ayan was taking sanaya back to her place. It was late in the night, The couple was walking hand in hand and enjoying the full moon that had brightened the night. Suddenly, a thief appeared out of nowhere. He had a gun in his hand. He wanted them to empty their purse and give everything they had. Sanaya tried hiding her ring , but the thief was sharp. He asked her to give the ring to. “No, Not the ring said ayan. He was willing to give anything but the ring. But the thief was in no mood to let go off it. Ayan made a move towards the gun, thief in his reflexes pulled the trigger, the bullet went straight into ayan’s chest. Thief left everything and ran away. Sanaya was numb. She saw his pulse dropping. Blood was oozing out of his chest. He will not survive this, she knew. Sanaya had tears in her eyes.

“Please don’t cry. Not today”, said ayan.

“Please don’t leave me like this. “ , she responded.

“Promise me you will find someone else. SomeOne who will make you smile. Someone who will be with you every step of the way.”, he asked.

“I promise.”, she said with her eyes full of tears.

“I Love y…..” , with these words he closed his eyes. His pulse had stopped. He was gone.

She caught her breath. Ayan was dead. Thief had shot him. She looked at the ground where his body lay. Time seemed to stop. A boiling fury swelled inside of her, and the physical pain was suddenly too much to bare. She screamed and fell to the ground, tears covering her dirt stained face. She bled with her as he dies, the warmth from his body seeped out of him into the earth leaving behind a cold empty husk. “Some people are never meant to be happy”, she thought. Her first love died 2 year back, her second one lay dead before her, as if her love was a deathwish.. The bright full moon , was now behind the clouds. There was a frightening darkness all over. Just like the darkness sanya left in sanaya’s life.